10.
What has Merrick been up to?
As I’m winding in the final stretch of my sophomore season of this Altar Ego journey, I’ve been . . .
Thinking
Some moments it feels like the seasonal transition into autumn has only just begun. The sun can almost still seem heavy and warm on my face on the less windy days, I can almost feel the memory of a full body embrace of summer on my skin. And yet…
I forgot my hat when I went out for an evening walk after the Church of Soft Power’s Soft Power Hour church service concluded, and half way through as I my pace increased, I could no longer gaslight my body into a lie - it was fucking cold and I really ought to make sure I am properly attired moving forward since we’re twenty days away from the calendar marking the start of winter in the northern hemisphere.
Even as I feel some desire for hibernation, I also feel this sense of unfolding simultaneously that requires more intentional balance to not burnout during this complicated alchemical season…
So what have I been doing about that?
Doing
Aside from All The Things Altar Ego Variety-related?! (Omg I really love it!!)
Today I moved the pumpkins from the front porch to the back patio, and it was bittersweet. A tangible transition of the seasons!
In the next few days I’ll harvest the seeds for next year’s garden, and put the food remains out in the woods for the animal friends (perks of the Pinelands).
Image is a photo of the pumpkins in hues of orange, yellow, white, and green resting on and near a bale of hay, with a cluster of mums in planters behind the bale on the front porch.
I grew the three smaller of the four big ones, and the equivalent of all the small pumpkins (which were gifted to my brother and SIL for their reception in October). And I’m excited give the warty gourds a go next growing season!
I had selected and arranged everything, and added the mums which mom has had the past few years (their planters usually live in the shrubscapes). I even carried, loaded, and unloaded the bale of hay that I lifted off the pile at the local farmer’s market with no hands-on assistance. I have dreamed of creating an autumnal harvest display on my front porch (wherever it’s been) since I was a little kid, and I finally made my dream come true this year! Not only that, but I GREW MY PUMPKINS! So grateful✨
The pumpkins and hay cost less than $40, all sourced locally at the farmer’s market two miles down the road (or from my garden). I’ll find a picture from when the arrangement was fresh in mid-October, the flowers were so vibrant and the pumpkins had richer hues too (one garden pumpkin finished ripening from green to orange!)
It’s a privilege to have mobility, land, and the means to work it... I am so grateful to finally have access to all these at once! I love putting my creativity to purpose! Speaking of movement (more about creating later in this stack)!
I’ve recently moved my Qi Gong practice outside and if I thought the first 10 days were potent, barefoot in the sunshine within the first hour of being awake is spiritual resuscitation, I have so much more energy and clarity in this consistency.
It was even easy to wake up before my early alarm to try a MoveMeant class with Amenti (recommended by the same fabulous Flo @thefairygodsis 🧚🏼♀️ who created the Qi Gong Reset video I’m using in my practice)! And I am so glad I did make it, I unlocked so much during that session energetically and physically, I was soooo sweaty and satisfied!
Fitness classes with more intensity than light dancing or easier yoga asanas have been inaccessible most of the past few years with chronic pain, fatigue, dysautonomia/POTS, mobility, etc … so the ability to show up and shake my butt is such a tremendous win that I am so deeply grateful for.
Listening
While I was in MoveMeant ritual with Amenti, another “Ritual” by Kaleema came on the speakers and I instantly fell in love, tapping deep into my soul and gyrating in familiarity with this new to me song. The lyrics make it even more resonant, aligning with the living alchemy I’ve been experiencing with subtle expressions that penetrate.
The beautiful Spanish lyrics translate approximately to,
I go / Along a dirt path / I go / Beside my shadow /Water / Water / From the spring / Will quench my thirst / I go / Along a path of stones / In the darkness / The moon illuminates / Water / Water / From the spring / Will quench my thirst / I go / Along a path of stones / In the darkness / The moon illuminates
And the video follows the narrative woven with abstract and expressive vignettes that I found hypnotically, softly gritty and whimsical in a magickal realism sort of way.
Image is a screenshot of Kaleema rising from the sand in the music video for “Ritual”.
Speaking of things I’ve enjoyed watching lately . . .
Watching
Wicked. We have a history. I first bonded with the world of The Wizard of Oz as a kid who was fond of all things music, and that was one of the films my parents introduced us to early on, so by the time I was in middle school and my high school put on a production I was already enamored.
Unfortunately, stage fright triggered a dysautonomia flare up that caused my voice to fluctuate so badly I knew mid-audition that I wasn’t getting into Munchkinland this time, and I might as well as sat down for as awkward as I floundered. After I confused all of us in that room of my small town that day, I ended up watching every night of the show for my birthday that year (which happened to fall during the performances).
(I recovered the next year and made it into the chorus, landing the understudy for Tzeital my sophomore year, continuing to improve on various choral and theater stages through practice and occasional study with a voice teacher for a few months.)
Fast forward to college where I worked for the Office of Housing and Residence Life, and during the training one autumn we went to see Wicked on Broadway as part of our staff bonding experience, after we had read the book over the summer as part of our training discussions on diversity, inclusion, and sociopolitical navigating. (Rutgers University-Newark had/has a phenomenal, blueprint setting administrative team in the Residence Life department.)
During the course of my time there I became quite close with some coworkers, and as we watch the cast we were thoroughly moved and bonded through out tears and resonances with the characters, storylines, and the musicality even. I listened to the soundtrack every night falling asleep for months and months, and often throughout many days, thoroughly enamored.
So when I finally watched Wicked (Part 1), a year after the film’s release, with subtitles and in the comfort of my bed . . . it was so cathartic. I sobbed from the opening scene and throughout most of the next two hours, even harder than I did while surrounded by my coworkers in the dark theater. It was the first time I’d seen it, generally avoiding the promos and media though I enjoyed the excited shares from beloveds since there are hardly any spoilers for me at this point.
Image is a movie poster for Wicked with Glinda reaching up to Elphaba riding a broom.
I caught so many nuances from the show I missed during that one live viewing twenty years ago, it brought so many aspects of the characters and story into light, and I found myself blown away in ways I hadn’t expected. There were messages, signs, and medicine throughout the experience and I’m genuinely excited to see Part 2 (while cognizant of the many nuanced things going on with the human actors “IRL”).
Reading
I’ve paused Dance of Oneness as I notice it deserves more intentional focus for this next segment of the book than I can offer until later this month, and I’ve also added a few books to juggle (as I like to do) when I have a bit more bandwidth. Recent steps into new responsibilities aligned with my path and purpose have led me back to studying grant strategy and copy writing! Not just for myself, but for my communities as well, and not wanting to gatekeep the goods:
Free copy of a highly recommended book on copywriting for many fields: https://archive.org/details/the-adweek-copywriting-handbook/mode/2up
Free On-Demand Professional Development Courses for Creatives:
https://creative-capital.org/artist-resources/
Image is a screenshot from the Creative Capital for Artists resource page, titled Artist Lab, and features headings, an image of a person with dark curly hair and a dark tshirt looking at a laptop, and information to access the online courses and resources for artists.
And it’s funny that I really didn’t plan the flow of this stack to be so well woven, an intuitive blessing amongst many I’m so grateful for as I lean into the co-creating process with Source in a ritualistic and intentional way daily!
Creating
Many of my recent creations are associated with Soft Power in some way, shape, or form! Particularly the Altar Ego journey and cumulative project for The Debut performance (LIVE and recorded on Sunday, December 14th at 5:30pm PST),
A Soft Sales and Marketing workshop I put together mid-month and presented for this production’s cohort the last day of November,
& I’m editing a channeled EFT Ritual for Creative Alchemy that I recorded yesterday by divine guidance when I sat down to film more content for my SYZYGY set! Whew!
Image is a screenshot of Merrick’s EFT Ritual for Creative Alchemy with the title across the top in a blue bubbly font, and they’re wearing a heathered light gray hoodie with gray gloves.
Honestly, it’s been delightfully overwhelming to keep up with and note my ideas for what I want to do as Altar Ego winds up the two month container, and I pivot into other creative projects of all sorts both within the Soft Power Universe and within my personal Imaginarium (literal and figurative, as I sense my housing transition is imminent). I’m looking forward to a deep breath of integration, this has truly been a transformative experience unlike any other I’ve endeavored (and there’s been many).
Thanks for catching up in the stacks with me! I’m enjoying this format for soft structure, it’s helpful with all of the abstract and to-be-structured aspects of my life aligning from this liminal space. And I appreciate your presence here!